Where does the time go?

Magnolia turned 1 week old on Tuesday!  Its hard to believe she is already a week old.  Time is flying by so quickly.  She sleeps A LOT, but somehow I feel like I’m always busy.

The past few days have been fairly uneventful.  Monday we went and applied for WIC.  We really have no intentions of using it, but WIC has free lactation consultants which we did need to use.  So Tuesday we went back for our appointment with the lactation consultant.  I was so hopeful after meeting with her.  We got lots of advice and were able to bring a hospital grade pump home.  Despite pumping every 2 hrs around the clock, my body has failed me.  Between having the csection and not getting to even try to nurse her the first 3 days, then not getting her to latch on, by the time we got the pump my body had already thought I wouldn’t be breast feeding a baby and the milk started to dry up.  I had great hopes the pump would increase production, but it has decreased each day.  I wanted the absolute best for my baby and that is breast milk, but my body just won’t cooperate.  At least once a day I end up squalling over the fact I can’t do it.  I think its time for me to be strong enough to let this go.  Formula might not be best, but it won’t kill her.  A happy, mentally healthy mom is more important than breastmilk.  I feel I haven’t truly enjoyed this past few days because I’m so stressed about milk.  She is growing up so fast already and I don’t want to look back and regret that I didn’t enjoy this time with her.

Mikey started back to work on Wednesday.  That was a big change!  Even though he’d only been home with us a few days I’d gotten used to his help.  He loves his little girl so much and she really could not have a better daddy!  We are both so very lucky.  I survived yesterday by myself and I am surviving today too.  It helps that I’m starting to feel better.

I stopped the hydrocodone on Tuesday and am only taking the Motrin if I absolutely need it, which is only once or twice a day.  The swelling is almost gone!  I was so swollen after the surgery that even though I gave birth to a 7.5 lb baby, I weighed more than I did while she was still in my womb.  I’ve dropped almost 15 lbs the past two days, which is just insane- I’m not even sure where it all went but I’m so thankful its gone!

We started cloth diapering full time on Monday.  We finally ran out of the small pack of diapers the hospital sent home with us.  So far, so good with the cloth.  She’s only had a blowout once and then once daddy forgot to put a cover on so pee went through the diaper onto her clothes and him.  Easy mistake to make though for us newbies to cloth.  It will be much easier once she is out of newborn sizes (but i don’t want her to grow up to fast!) and we can use the diapers that have the outer lining that’s waterproof, so we don’t have to use a cover.

I haven’t uploaded any pics off my camera in a couple days but I’ll be sure to have plenty in the next post.

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1 Comment

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One response to “Where does the time go?

  1. tracysday

    Good for you for trying so hard to breastfeed. Breastmilk is best but you are 100% correct about a healthy, happy Mommy being even better. Hang in there.

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